23 AprThe Pandemic and My New Family Life

But I hesitate to say that I want things to go back to normal. As far as my family life goes, this “new” normal appears to be better than the old normal. While there is less public contact, I don’t want to lose this beautiful, warm, closeness with my family.

I had a good preview of what the Coronavirus would bring to the daily life of Americans. I teach English to Chinese students for an online education company. As I read the headlines of what was happening in China I discussed it with my students. Because of the population density of their cities, they went straight to home quarantine, forget social distancing. Week after week as I met with my students I learned that they had not gone outside of their apartment After a month I could see the effects of captivity in their eyes. After two months their listlessness made its way through the computer screen and effected me. I truly felt bad for them. Then the Coronavirus made it to the US.

In addition to teaching English I drive a school bus. I enjoy being a school bus driver. Having said that, I also look forward to every school vacation. Perhaps you can understand that conflict. When the rumors started that schools might be closed I felt hopeful. When they did close I did an arm pump. I would get some relief from running from my last early morning English class to the school bus for the morning run. It would be like an early spring break, which then turned into an early summer vacation.

I only have two of my eight children at home anymore. They took the closing of the schools with a shrug. Public school has only ever been on the periphery of my family life. My children did homeschool with a mix of public school classes. Because of my job as a bus driver, and the few classes they take at school, and their friends who go to public school, we are in touch with public school life, but it plays only a small part in our family.

As happy as I was to get an unexpected break from bus driving, I spent the first two weeks feeling depressed. I didn’t understand that depression was what I was feeling. I kept thinking that I was happy to have extra time and less pressure in my life. In reality I was walking around foggy headed, as if I had taken allergy medication. After two weeks, just about the time I realized that it was the significant world changes that had me off balance, I started to get my feet under me.

Bus driving is a strange part-time job. People often thing a bus driver has lots of time during the day since he is only working when taking kids to school or bringing them home. What do you do with all that time in the middle of the day? I laugh when I hear that. Yes, there is a bit of time in the middle of the day—just enough time to get something started. Then 2:00 rolls around and I find myself running to make it to the school on time for pickup. Not being able to finish anything is actually quite frustrating.

With schools closed I no longer have that deadline. I revel in the freedom to finish writing my current novel. I’m pursuing my Spanish studies. I’m making inroads on the double bass, a new instrument for me. I’m getting a little reading done. Best of all, I’m enjoying a new relationship with my family.

My family and I have always enjoy spending time together, but with schools closed we were a little startled to see each other at odd times of the day. My wife works at one of the schools. My baby boy actually goes to public school. My daughter takes a class there. I had the house to myself during the middle of the day. Now I was running into them after my morning bus run, at lunch time, in the early afternoon, after dinner. There wasn’t a time when I wasn’t running into them.

Although we would eye each other at first like, “Who are you and what are you doing here?” it was pleasant to see them. It was nice knowing that I would know where they would be if I needed them. I think they felt the same way. My wife spends much of her days preparing the garden. I can usually find my daughter studying. She’s been self-schooled all her life. The pandemic hasn’t changed a thing for her. I usually find her curled up on the couch working contentedly with a stack of books nearby. My son has been doing great in public school, but he’s shown no sign of missing it. He’s only in public school because he is too distracted by all he can do on a computer at home. Now that his teachers are sending his assignments to him via computer he is totally content. He finishes by noon every day and the pursues creating content for his YouTube channel or playing games.

Our family time has increased dramatically. I’m not talking about being in the same house together; I’m talking about actually doing things together. I’ve gone on pleasant shopping trips with my wife. My son and I do yard work and other projects around the house together. He complains at first, but by the end we are enjoying each other. My daughter is reading a book to me. She reads to me while I eat breakfast, or in the car when we take a drive. Her voice lends itself very well to the voice of the young female narrator. It’s quite a turn to have her reading to me for once. I don’t know how many books I’ve read to her over the years. My son, just getting his learner’s permit, often asks if he can take me for a drive. The other day I agreed. I was surprised when my wife and daughter got in the car too. They all wanted out of the house, even if little brother was driving. I felt content with my family as we drove on a long loop over back roads. We talked a little. We sat in silence a little. It was family in the car.

We’ve been eating some excellent meals morning and evening. My daughter has been cooking banana-oatmeal pancakes or blueberry muffins for breakfast. We’ve enjoyed curries and savory soups for dinner. But the best part is eating these meals together. Sometimes we have a movie on, but often we just sit and talk. There are no band concerts, play rehearsals, or dance competitions to interrupt. I like music and plays and dance–a lot–but I never realized what I was trading for these activities. Sitting in the golden evening light, surrounded by my wife and children, chatting, has been more pleasant than I could imagine. I don’t know that I ever want it to end.

I realize that my pandemic experience is far different from others. I live in a rural area where social distancing is more natural than not. The lack of population has kept the virus at bay. I have a second job. I know the pandemic needs to end. People are losing their lives, and others their livelihoods. I have two grown children out of work. I know we need to do what we need to do to get this thing under control so that we aren’t losing loved ones or our homes. But I hesitate to say that I want things to go back to normal. As far as my family life goes, this “new” normal appears to be better than the old normal. While there is less public contact, I don’t want to lose this beautiful, warm, closeness with my family.

Some say that the world will never be the same after the pandemic. I think I agree with them. It may be a more dangerous, scary place. But if I can keep this closeness I feel with my family I will feel I have gained something valuable from the experience.

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These books by Tory Anderson are now available on Amazon in Kindle and paperback format: